


at dusk, i will think of you

by rikunort



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikunort/pseuds/rikunort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lea had never really been good at letting go. Everyone around him was focused, preparing themselves for the big fight, but all he could do was remember his past and the love he'd lost. So Sora takes it upon himself to help him, which brings a few things to light.</p>
<p>Lea's new heart might be a little cracked, but it's not broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	at dusk, i will think of you

Sunsets would always remind Lea of Roxas.

Sunsets reminded him of relaxing on a clock tower after a long day, just eating ice cream and enjoying each other's company. Of spiky blond hair and a smart mouth, and deep blue eyes that reflected the soft rays of the sun at dusk. Of finally feeling alive, after simply going through the motions.

Sure, he'd taught Roxas the practical things, like why the sun set red or what friends were, but Roxas had taught him so much more.

He'd taught him how to love again.

But Roxas was a thing of the past. Lea would never see another sunset with him, never tease him, never share sea salt ice cream with him again.

And he'd be lying if he said it didn't seriously fucking suck.

_I'm pathetic,_  he thought to himself as he sat on the ledge of the clock tower, heaving a sigh. He fiddled with his scarf, yellow like the one he'd wore in his youth before becoming a Nobody. _Everyone else is moving forward, getting ready for the big fight, and all I can think about is the past..._

His heart ached. It was a feeling he'd long forgotten, one he would've been happy to never feel again, but alas life hated him or something.

He'd been given another chance. But he couldn't move forward, couldn't focus on his keyblade training, because his mind was constantly consumed with thoughts of the love he'd never regain.

The thing he was the most bitter about was the fact that he could've  _finally_  loved Roxas properly. Not with simple whispers of the memory of love, but properly with the heart he now had back. It was like some cruel joke, and he didn't find it funny at all.

"Do you come here to brood all the time, or is this a special occasion?"

Lea jumped at the teasing voice, looking and finding a head full of light brown spikes and blue eyes that never failed to make his heart ache. Because those eyes...they were  _Roxas'_  eyes.

Sora plopped himself down next to him, grinning in that easy way of his. His blue eyes sparkled as he nudged Lea playfully, drawing a reluctant chuckle from the redhead.

"Nah, this is kinda a special place for me. Lots of memories here." He looked down at his hands. "This is where Roxas and I would come after missions."

Sora went quiet at that, but only for a moment.

"You two were close, weren't you? You...and Roxas," he asked tentatively, laying a hand on the redhead's arm.

Lea chuckled almost bitterly. "You could say that."

There was a beat of silence before Sora finally asked, "You loved him, didn't you?"

Releasing a sigh, the redhead rubbed his face tiredly. "As much as a Nobody could, Sora. He was...everything to me. And then he left—" His breath hitched, and he hastily blinked back tears. "He left, and then  _my_  Roxas was gone. I never even got a proper goodbye." His eyes darkened. "Sometimes, I really think I could hate him. I really wish I  _could_  so that maybe I could get on with my life. But then I think of that  _dumb_  smile of his and I'm right back to square one."

The brunet made a soft sound in his throat before wrapping an arm around Lea in a one-armed hug, leaning his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lea. I'm sorry  _I'm_  here instead of  _him_. I...I wish there was some way he could be a person too, because he deserves it. Even if he insists that he's happy it's me and not him..."

Lea's eyes widened in shock. "No, Sora, don't apologize for that. You were a person before he was...don't apologize for existing. The time I had with him was wonderful and I'll never forget it...but he's gone now, and he _isn't_ coming back. I guess I've gotta learn to accept that." He offered a smile, though it was tinged with pain. "Besides, you're just as much of a brat as he was. I don't think I could handle  _two_  of you."

Sora brightened, giving him a light push. " _Hey_ , would a brat have brought you this?" With that, he pulled out two white rectangles that Lea immediately recognized. His throat went dry as Sora handed him one of the ice cream bars before proceeding to open his own and take a bite.

When Lea didn't open his, the brunet tilted his head in confusion. "Aren't you going to eat it? It's sea salt...Roxas says it's your favorite..."

The redhead blinked rapidly, trying to withhold his tears as he tore the wrapper and bit into his ice cream. It was stupid, to get so emotional over a fucking bar of ice cream, but...

Against his will, he remembered when he'd told Roxas about friends. That they ate ice cream and laughed together. He remembered the look on Roxas' face as he tried to grasp the foreign concept and thinking  _damn, he's adorable._

Sora's brow furrowed in concern. "Lea? I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry...I thought it would be a good idea..."

Lea waved a hand dismissively, laughing through the lump in his throat. "It was very thoughtful, Sora. I'm just being an emotional baby...thank you. For the ice cream  _and_  the company." He really meant it; he sincerely enjoyed the brunet's company, because he reminded him of Roxas so much sometimes. Barring that, he genuinely liked Sora—he was like a breath of fresh air, all optimism and jokes. He made Lea smile so easily, when he'd thought that genuine smiles were lost on him.

"Well...you've saved my life twice, now. I figured this might help pay you back a little," replied Sora with a small smile as he took another bite of his ice cream.

Lea reached over and ruffled his hair, laughing. "You don't have to pay me back, Sora. Someone's gotta look after your sorry ass, and I don't mind taking that job."

Sora scoffed indignantly. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much!"

Lea snorted. "Sure thing, Sor."

"I could kick your ass in a keyblade fight!"

The redhead scoffed. "Only because you have more experience with it. If I used my chakrams, you'd be crying for your mommy by the end of it."

Sora leaned in close, eyes narrowed playfully. "Is that a  _challenge_  I hear?"

Lea smirked in reply, leaning in as well so that their faces were separated by only a few inches. He was about to reply until his eyes met Sora's, instantly making him clam up.

_God_ , they were gorgeous. Why were they so damn  _gorgeous_? They were like...like a stormy sea, or an evening sky...

Snapping out of it, Lea quickly sat back up straight, a heavy silence falling over the two of then.

_I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so fucking bad. What's wrong with me? He's not Roxas. He's..._

_He's not Roxas. Get that through your head,_  he told himself angrily, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and chewing onto it.

_I know he's not Roxas. I know it. But I still want him. Why the hell do I still want him?!_

Sora coughed, looking down. "He's sorry, you know. Roxas. For leaving you like that. He wanted me to let you know..."

Lea looked at him slowly, acidic eyes widening a fraction. "You can...feel him?"

The brunet nodded slowly, biting his lower lip. "He's always with me, in the back of my mind. He's become a part of me..."

It seemed too good to be true, knowing that the one he loved more than anything was technically sitting right beside him. But...it was more than that. Even on his own, there was something about Sora that soothed his soul. He'd spent a lot of time with the brunet, getting to know him, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't growing on him.

Intense green eyes met soft blue. "Sora...what is it that you feel for me, exactly?" he asked in a gentle voice.

Sora swallowed hard. "Why?"

"Just answer."

Blue eyes were cast downward. "Well, I...I think you have a good heart, Lea. You saved me when you didn't have to, and now you're working to become a Keyblade Wielder to help us fight Xehanort...and I think that's very honorable of you. You're also very sweet, even though you try so hard to hide it. And, well...I think you're really handsome, too..."

The redhead felt himself smile as he slowly reached out to lay a warm hand over Sora's, causing the brunet to look up at him in confusion.

"Lea...?"

Lea smiled, reaching out to brush brown bangs back. "You know, you're one of the only people who hasn't messed up my name yet. And you have no idea how much that means, Sora. Axel...he wasn't the best of people. He made lots of mistakes. But I just want to start fresh and maybe try to make up for those mistakes, and you make me feel like I can."

"Because you  _can_ , Lea. You already are. Please don't doubt yourself, because you're a wonderful person. I don't know what we'd do without you..." His voice lowered. "What  _I'd_  do without you."

"Sora..."

The brunet shook his head. "Lea, I  _know_  you're still in love with Roxas. It's so easy to see. But sometimes...sometimes, I wish you could love  _me_  like that, too. I know I'm not him, and I could  _never_  replace him, but he's with me in here. He's a part of me now. And...we  _both_  love you, Lea. I'm sorry if I made things awkward and please don't feel obligated to feel the same way—"

Lea grabbed the tense, babbling boy and crushed their lips together, feeling him instantly go slack and melt into the embrace.

Sora's lips were so, so soft. They invited him in, allowing his tongue to explore beyond them, a soft noise escaping him as his arms would around the redhead's neck. He felt similar enough to Roxas, in the sense that their bodies were the same size and both tasted like sea salt ice cream. But beyond the taste of ice cream was something exotic, like the island that Sora came from, along with something wholly undefinable, like light. Roxas had smelled like the soap issued to them in the Organization, while Sora smelled like citrus and sunshine. He was just as aggressive as Roxas, however, which made Lea smile as he slowly pulled away.

"You aren't Roxas. You're  _Sora_. And Roxas is you. But I don't see him right now, Sora...I see  _you_." Reaching up, he laid a hand on Sora's chest, right over his heartbeat and feeling its steady thrum, something else that was different. "I could never love Roxas the way I wanted to. I didn't have the heart to do it. But now I have a heart, Sora, and...fuck, this is so cheesy, but...my heart wants you. I'll always love him, but he's a part of you now and it makes me love you so much more. I have enough room now to love you both."

"I can't be a substitute for him...you know that, right? Because we're different, Lea. We may make up the same person, but we are two different people..." Sora murmured, looking down. "I want you to love me for  _me_ , not for the person  _inside_  of me. So as long as you're sure you can do that...and I'm not telling you to stop loving Roxas, I'd never do that. I just want to make sure that you truly love me for me, too."

Eyes soft, Lea rested a hand on his cheek and gently stroked the soft skin with his thumb. "Don't you worry, Sora. When I look at you...I see a funny, lovable, optimistic person. I see determination, I see strength, and I see fire. I see beautiful blue eyes, a perfect smile, and crazy brown hair. Sora...I see  _you_. And I love everything about you. I know you're not Roxas, and I've accepted he's never coming back. I'd like to move on with my life now...with you by my side," he finished softly, biting his lip.

It was silent for a moment before Sora began to laugh. It was a quiet laugh, one that shook his shoulders while soft gasps of air escaped his lips. "You're such a sappy dork, oh my god Lea."

The redhead shrugged, grinning. "Only when it matters."

The laughs died down a little, and Sora reached out to take Lea's hand in his own. "I love it. I love you."

"I love you too, Sora."

Their lips met again in the sweetest of kisses, lips pressing softly instead of insistently. He thought that maybe he could get used to this.

Yes, dusk would  _always_  remind him of Roxas. But he figured he shouldn't be sad anymore, not when he now had someone so precious to hold in his arms, someone Roxas was a part of.

"Hey, Sora?" he questioned once they broke apart.

"Hmm?" the brunet questioned, snuggling into him.

"Has anyone ever told you why the sun sets red?"

**Author's Note:**

> writing lea/sora was like a breath of fresh air for me, even though it was a little hard since i'm so used to writing akuroku and soriku...writing this just made me feel very strangely peaceful.
> 
> originally posted on fanfiction.net--my penname there is a-far-off-memory, so if you wanna read any of my other work, that's the place to find it. i'll slowly be uploading it all here, but for now, the bulk of it is there.


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